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Sanity During The Holidays

  • Limit Alcohol
    Although the holidays represent a time to gorge yourself on home cooked delicacies, the theme for alcohol should be everything in moderation. Alcohol impairs judgement, and is a depressant. This can leave you vulnerable to catching the crazy, and blurting out that you haven't had sex in six months, while cramming stuffing into your face is definitely something you will regret later.


  • Positive Jokes
    When families gather, it's a great time to rib and tease each other. This is healthy, but make sure to keep it light and positive so as not to push any buttons. Grabbing your little sister, sitting on her head and farting may have been amusing when you were kids, but is no longer an appropriate form of joking.


  • Avoid Old Roles
    Every person in the family plays a specific role (Overbearing Mom, Always at work Dad, pestering big brother, bratty little sister, the smart one), and when they gather together it's easy to revert back to the roles each person played when they were younger. This can lead to fights that open up old wounds and inevitably someone will catch the crazy. Commit to being the adult you are now, and create new healthy bonds with your family.


  • Check your baggage
    To avoid major family issues, do not attempt to resolve your personal issues with specific individuals. Check any past grievances at the door, and treat the holiday like you are on the political stage with everyone watching. This is not the time to bring up how "You could have done better raising me!" This is a time to enjoy the family as a whole.


  • Button pushing
    Don't do it, and don't be a victim to it. As family, we know exactly what pushes each others buttons. Comments like "Are you really going to eat seconds? Is that a wise choice?" are not the best things to say when you know your wife has been struggling with the "baby weight." This type of button pushing will only escalate any issues lurking under the surface and could lead to a disastrous holiday and a room full of people catching the crazy!


  • Take a time out
    If you feel yourself catching the crazy, take a time out and get out of the situation. Take a walk, adjourn to the restroom, or feign a headache and find a quiet room where you can be alone with your thoughts. It is better to be absent for a short period, than to scream at your husband in front of his whole family.


  • Positive Affirmations
    Come prepared with a pocket full of positive affirmations to help curb the negative thought process that is the onset of catching the crazy. Begin each affirmations with "I am" and always use the language of abundance. I am a strong, smart man who loves and cherishes his family. I am the beautiful mother of three amazing children, and I embrace life to its fullest. Positive affirmations are a great way to help shift your mind so you can enjoy your holiday with a positive outlook.


  • Praise
    Choosing to "praise" each individual member of your family by sharing with them what you think makes them special and unique is a great way to open up positive lines of communication within your family. Let your brother know that it is obvious to see that he is doing an amazing job raising his kids, and that his choices and decisions are a testament to his strength and capabilities as a father. You have the power to make each member of your family feel amazing, so show approval, gratitude and respect, by praising them, and you will have a home with less crazy and more love.


  • Strengthen the Bond
    Take a moment and ask yourself "What can I do today to bring me and my family closer together?" This is a great opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your family. Avoid what is wrong with your family, and instead turn your attention to what is great about your family. You can't choose your family, but you can choose whether you will be a victim to catching the crazy. Focus on what makes your family magnificent, and choose to share and exude love in all circumstances this holiday season.


ABUSE REPORT01/6/2009 02:53:07 AM EST

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